To Grandma
My second cousin, Suzan, had these beautiful words to say after the passing of my great Aunt Lillian this week:
I need to put in writing the words that could not make it past my tears today at my Grandmothers service. We gathered to say good bye to the last of an era and to stories of the past. Over the last two weeks I had thought about what I would say and had tried to sum up Grandma only to realize that I could not, that there were too many sides of her to do so. I did not need to tell people all the great things about her as anyone who knew her already knew about her kindness to others, her generosity, her thoughtfulness and sense of humor, this not what I wanted to say nor did I need to for my cousin Sandy had put all of these thoughts into words far more eloquent then I ever could. But I did want to write about her unconditional love for her family and the time that she spent with us.
Well I set with my Grandmother during her last few days we were not in her room at Community Care but back on Kempster Ave. My thoughts were about my childhood and into adulthood and how truly fortunate I was to have the things I did, one of the greatest being that of time spent with family at the dinning room table. We did not talk on the phone or watch TV as the stories told by my Grandmother, Grandfather, Great Aunt and Uncle were far better than any story shown on a network. We spent hours just listening to stories about family and our roots, about lifetimes ago when morals and values meant something and family was everything. To a slower time when supper was set on the table and the family gathered around because that’s where everyone wanted to be. There was laughter, tears and even arguments but you came away with a sense of being, of who you were and what you could be. When coming of age was the day the kids table was pushed to join with the adult table even though we had always been welcome to sit with our parents when supper was over to listen and learn. I don’t even have to close my eyes to step back to that time and feel how blessed I was. Family was our strength and Grandma was our backbone.
Stories were everything and I now have a few of my own to pass on. As my brothers and cousins all know and joke; you could never visit Grandma and not leave without a box filled with food, a full belly, a few dollars that Grandma gave to you in secret along with the ones that she told Grandpa to give to you. Sometimes you even left with a pair of new shoes you didn’t need, a jacket even if you already had one and an umbrella if there was ever a cloud in the sky. You always knew that if you needed to turn around and ask for more, that you would be welcomed with open arms and given anything you needed. Grandma was not judgmental when it came to her grandchildren and if she could help any of us in any way she would move Heaven and earth to do so.
I think back and see grandma in her housedress at her stove singing the theme to “Cops” and can’t help but smile at the moment caught in time and in secret. About leaning how to make peppers and nut bread just to share the time together.
I know that I speak for my brothers and cousins when I say I now feel a duty to pass these stories on to the new generations and to reminisce with the ones that were there, to keep these memories alive within our hearts and to hold dear the new ones to come.
The day that my Grandmother passed, I came home and wrote the following verse for my Christmas cards for this year which was inspired by my last hours with my Grandmother, Lillian Barrick.
“Family and friends near bring joy to our hearts while the memory of family and friends past brings peace to our soul. May you find peace and joy this holiday season”
Grandma may you now find peace and joy with all the ones that went before.
Your loving Granddaughter,
Suzan
Thank you Suzan. I couldn’t have said it any better.
