Non-Dairy Screamer
No milk today for this “homey” embryo who threatens to tear his mother’s intestines out at birth.
Saturated with shocking and disturbing, noisy and annoying, and distracting and distasteful tripe, that plasmatron over there dominating the room just got turned off for the last time.
Seeing that adolescent embryo giving a South Central hand gesture (”bright red, Ma, bright red!…”), and decrying jalapeños is just, well, not necessary!
How can you not remember whose commercial this is? It’s hard to imagine such an ungrateful unborn that would threaten to bring his mother’s stomach lining with him out into the world. And you don’t have to imagine it. He comes floating back around in his amniotic fluid every half-hour.
Oh sure, there might be some redeeming qualities to television; but I’m not taking that chance. I’m even getting tired of the Suze Orman Pledge Drive!
Instead, I read blogs. I study blogs and the reasons people write them. Michael Cheney, author of the Website Marketing Bible, was espousing the virtues of reading recently, and advised his readers to turn their televisions off in favor of a good book. Excellent reading, even considering that marketing is the underlying motive for his words of wisdom.
Thomas Pierce informs his readers of everything about blogging. His latest post to “Create Blog Success” features a lazy blogger who”calls himself a provocateur, raconteur, entrepreneur and impresario…plus an all around great guy”, his name is Fred Gratzon and, from the tiny headshot posted there, he looks a little like Fred Rogers AKA “Mr. Rogers”.
“Your blog will not reach it’s full potential without social traffic”, he says, applying the tiniest amount of disdain for the “blogging and pinging” craze taking the marketing world by storm.
Sidebar break:
While attempting to clear my mind of some of the things I’ve seen all over the Web again, I began this article with the idea of how much I hate the Carl’s Jr. jalapeño cheeseburger commercial, and how I’ve been keeping the television off in favor of reading blogs; and in researching what others have to say about these ideas, I Google around with four Internet Explorer windows open and three Firefox windows open, and I get everything from terrible SuperBowl commercials, and Anna Nicole Smith drunk, to Flatworm Penis Fencing and Cecilia Noël and The Wild Clams, and I realize my media players are all screwy and I need to get to the bottom of this issue.
Anymore, when you surf around the Web, you get audio and video clips of things that promise to be interesting. Many of these interfaces ask you to pick your media player of choice. I suppose right out of the box, most Windows XP Professional systems have Windows Media Player as their default.
My system, the minute I got it; I don’t remember what the settings were, but I immediately loaded Norton Internet Security Professional, and Norton AntiVirus, and I tried to decide then about disabling the Windows firewall in favor of the Norton, but I didn’t decide, and so both run, and I, not knowing enough about security, tried to do more reading on the topic; and I’ve been all over message threads that confused me even more, so I went about doing other things, still not resolving this issue. And on an almost daily basis, I jerk around schizophrenically, exploring things that require some plugin I thought I already had, and I find software I absolutely have to have, and I keep adding stuff to this computer that I probably shouldn’t; that most undoubtedly is going to send it the way of my last computer, freezing up and having way too many processes running, and system performance compromised.
How does one work all these things out? How can you know if RealPlayer or Windows Media Player or QuickTime is the one you want? And how can you be sure that attempting to watch a clip on flatworms penis fencing isn’t going to make a mess of your system, and how, once and for all, do you determine which of those temp file folders you can actually throw away, and which of all of those options to check in the Internet Properties box, under the Advanced tab?
One can get a lot of very good answers from Joe Robson’s Newbie Club
